The Man Who Had a True Friend to Steer Him Along

Once there was a well-meaning Soul who was handicapped by atrue and lasting Friendship. Sometimes he suspected that if he could be left to himself he woudl sruggle along form one Saturday Night to another and keep out of the Way of the Cars and possibly extract some Joy form this LIfe in his own SImple Rube Fashion. But every time he turned aroudn, Friend was right there to tell him what ot do. Friend was somewhat of a Shell-Fish in teh regulation of his own Private Affairs, but he knew just how to manage for someone else. So he used to tell teh Victim where to have his clothes made, and he woudl pick out his Shirt Patters for him and tell him how often he needed a drink , adn in otehr ways relieve him of all Responsibilities. If teh ppor Mark wanted to remain in his Room adn read something by William Dean Howells, teh Friend woudl compel him to put on his Low-Front and go out to a War-Dance and meet a Bunch of Kioodles who wore No. 6 Hats and talked nothing but Piffle. The Friend was always making Business Engagements for him and then letting him know about it later on. And soemtimes Friend woudl try to choke him and take his Money away from him and invest it in some shine Enterprise tha twas going to pay 40 per cent Dividend every thrity Days. Friend always meant well at that. When he selected the Girl that the Victim was to marry he was prompted by teh most unselfish Motives. Notwithstanding which, teh Victim did the tell Duck. A Policeman found him hiding under a Bridge and asked, "Are you a Fugitive from Justice?" "No," was teh Reply. "This is merly a case of Friend." MORAL: They never seem to be properly THankful for all that we do in their Behalf. Share: Del.icio.us Digg Reddit